


It Is Not A Teleport Pod

by orphan_account



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Crossover, M/M, i'm not sure if i'm going to continue with this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-31
Updated: 2012-10-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 03:06:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles Stilinski, junior xenolinguistic for Stargate: Atlantis, accidentally ends up married to a scary-hot alien dude. Could be worse?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“No. No, you are _wrong_.” Rodney jabs a finger pointedly at the instructions carved into the cover of a giant, upright, sleek, green-hued tube.

“Oh my god, McKay. I have studied this freaking language for six years. This says transfer pod, not teleport pod,” Stiles snaps back and elbows Rodney aside to stop the man from pressing bubbles.

“I’ve lived on Atlantis for seven years, boy. I think I’m a little more qualified.”

“Nope. Nope, shut up.” 

“Did you just tell me to--”

“Rodney! Focus. We need to figure out what this is and Stilinski does know his stuff,” John holds a hand out and leans against a wall. 

“And you, Mr.Oops-I-Accidentally-Pressed-Every-Possible-Button-Ever, get away from the console.” Stiles edges everyone away from the standing pad, but, because he is Stiles, trips directly on to it. “Oh, sh--”

There is a brilliant flash of bright light and then Stiles is completely gone. The room is silent for a few moments and then Rodney huffs loudly.

“I told him it was a teleport pod.”

***

“--It.” Stiles’ knees instantly buckle and he falls to the dry, dirt ground with a wince. “Oh my god. Oh my god. What?”

“Inc t’chal bei’linh?”

“What?” Stiles jumps to his feet and yanks out the Ancient translating device he’d borrowed (stolen) from McKay awhile ago and jabs it in his ear.

He then points at the really scary guy. Really muscley, muscles-- Wait, wait.

“Say that again,” he orders and the man shifts on his feet. He’s barefoot, and he only has on a pair of leather pants and a necklace made of teeth. Human teeth? Oh, gross.

“Why have you chosen my land?” he grunts brusquely. 

“Chosen your land for what?” Stiles crouches and scoops up some soil in a spare sample tube and pockets it. 

“To destroy.”

“Whoa, hold your horses, buddy. I’m not here to destroy your land.” Stiles glances around at the barren desert in all directions. “It’s... nice, though?”

“Then you are here to wed with me.”

“Are those my only choices? Destroy your land or marry you?”

“Yes.” 

They regard each other carefully and then Stiles hides his face in his hands, “This is so not my role. Danny is the one with all the crazy marriage proposals. ”

“You do not wish to join?” the dude wearing _human teeth_ as a fashion accessory asks and Stiles lowers his hands slowly.

“Are you kidding? You’re, like, obnoxiously attractive, even despite the probable murdering. But I have to go back home. I can’t just marry you.”

“I will take you home. I have access to the sky-door.” The guy crosses his arms. “Then we will marry.”

“Sky-door, yes! Marriage, we can discuss.”

Apparently this is an acceptable compromise.

“What’s your name?” Stiles asks, it’s almost an afterthought.

The man’s response is too foreign for the translator, or so it appears. 

“So, I think I got Derek out of that.”

“That will suffice.” Derek starts walking then and Stiles scampers to keep up.

It’s not a very long walk to the stargate but it is a dry one and Stiles is sweating by the time they reach the D.H.D. Derek doesn’t seem to be affected at all. Stiles dials up Atlantis and cheers when they pick up.

“It’s Stilinksi. Tell that dick Mckay that it is completely a transfer pod. Just because it looks like transporter does not mean it is.”

The man on the other end of the ‘gate sighs heavily. “Welcome home, Stilinksi.”

The ‘gate swirls brilliant blue and Stiles starts to turn to bid Derek goodbye. And he would be saying goodbye but Derek is steadfastly treading up the ramp straight into Atlantis. 

“Wait!” Stiles darts in front of him and presses to hands to Derek’s really firm, really nice--wait, wait, okay. “If you just run in there you’ll get shot. Uh, killed.”

“I do not fear your people’s weapons,” Derek says and then he’s manhandling Stiles next to him and slinging a heavy arm around his neck. “We will enter as mates if it will comfort you.”

“Uh, yeah. It will comfort me.” Stiles side-eyes Derek who simply moves his arm to cross Stiles’ back and clamp onto his hip. 

As they cross through into Atlantis Derek’s muscles get, if possible, more tense. His fingers are biting into Stiles’ side and he doesn’t exhale until he’s through. Derek edges in front of him and almost thirty guns are trained directly on him.

“Nope, it’s fine. No danger. None.” Stiles waves his hands around from behind Derek and everyone kind of stills.

“What fresh Hell is this?” Mckay calls from the stairs, which he is trotting after Sheppard.

“I’m his, uh, mate?” Stiles offers sheepishly and Sheppard groans loudly. 

“Stilinksi, why?” 

“It was the best possible choice under the circumstances,” Stiles scoots around Derek. “And now I’m going to go take my new, super hot, alien husband to my office so I can study his frankly interesting language.”

“You can’t just run around with a potentially dangerous off-worlder and poke him with your little soft-science sticks,” Mckay snaps and then Derek is on him like mud on boots, lifting him off his feet purely by two fistfulls of BDU’S.

“No, nope, put him down. Derek, drop him,” Stiles clings to his forearm, “Put down the nasty scientist.”

“He has dishonored you. I will pluck his tongue from his mouth and feed it to him--”

“Woah, whoops, nope.” Stiles uncurls each of Derek’s fingers’ from Rodney’s coat and then folds them against his own chest. “I think you should refrain from hurting the head scientist because it could mean very bad things for junior scientists, like myself.”

Rodney sputters beside him and Derek makes an honestly terrifying noise. “I demand a duel.” he tells Rodney and Rodney goes white and edges behind Sheppard.

“Brother Hale!” Ronon booms as he enters the room and Derek grins with sharp, white teeth. 

“Brother Dex!” Derek replies in kind and they engage in a very manly embrace. 

“What brings you to Atlantis, old friend?”

“I have found my mate.” Derek proudly pets Stiles’ head again and Ronon grins widely. 

“Stilinski is quite a handful, albeit a very brave one. You have chosen a fine match.”

Rodney interrupts with a cough, “So, we’re just going to pretend that it’s totally okay for Stilinski to fake-marry an alien? The only alien we have met so far that doesn’t speak English? And has super-human strength?”

“I am not human. I am Lobos.”

“Lobos, as in wolf? Wolfish?” Stiles asks and Derek settles a warm hand on the back of his neck.

“That is right.” Derek glances around the room, “Where do you sleep?”

Stiles’ face flushes in excitement and Derek meets his eyes heavily. “Follow me,” Stiles blurts and Derek places one hand low on his spine as they walk towards the exit.

“Stilinksi, you are breaking about fifteen regulations regarding foreign persons--”

“Rodney, let the kid have some fun.” Sheppard crosses his arms, “In fact, I think I remember a certain Tamaran girl that you kept cooped up in your quarters--”

“Touché!” Rodney snaps belligerently as he stomps towards the transporters.


	2. Chapter 2

And naturally because Stiles is living in Atlantis ( slogan “If It Can Go Wrong, It Does”),there is no clear path to his quarters. Instead he runs into his teammates, Allison and the Athosian known as Scott. 

Captain Allison Argent is their teams’ gun and she is frankly terrifying. Scott is sweet, unassuming, and incredibly vital to the further of the Atlantis colony’s connections with the neighboring planets. Stiles is not considering either of these things when he shoves between them, Derek’s hands are rapidly moving to places that Stiles would prefer nobody else noticed and also this is the first action he’s gotten in years. Literally, three years. _Three_.

“Sorry, I’ll talk to you later,” he calls over his shoulder and Derek picks him up and heaves him against the nearest wall. “No, nope, we’re almost there. Let me down, okay--” 

Derek kisses him quiet and he almost forgets that they’re making out in a busy corridor until he hears Rodney squawk from yards away. Stiles pulls back, set on getting them behind a closed door, but he gets a little distracted from the soft look in Derek’s eyes. He leans back in for a kiss and then there is a set of hands on him pushing him down the hall. He looks over to find Scott firmly urging them towards Stiles’ door and he flushes bright red and pushes Derek back. 

“Thanks, buddy,” he says hurriedly and then Derek lifts his head and sniffs the air.

“No problem, “ Scott chirps and then Derek is tugging Stiles down the hall towards Stiles’ quarters. 

The door swooshes open and Stiles basically shoves Derek on to the bed, kicks off his boots, then climbs aboard. 

“God, you are literally the best thing I have seen since we ran out of pudding for lunch,” Stiles gasps and Derek tears Stiles’ white t-shirt open from the neck down and flings it across the room. 

Derek grabs him by the back of the neck and yanks him down close. “I will find you this pudding and you will feast on it by the barrel,” he whispers passionately and Stiles’ heart flutters with a sudden flood of warmth.

“I think I love you,” Stiles coos and Derek flips them over so he can press against Stiles’ more firmly. 

Derek is mostly just wearing a few animal hides sewn together so they come off easy, Stiles nearly rolls off the bed when Derek starts forcefully tugging at his BDU pants but soon enough they follow as well.

Stiles giggles when Derek starts snuffling the skin behind his ear, Derek’s nose trails down to nudge under his chin. Derek licks a short line from the hollow of Stiles’ throat to his chin and Stiles’ wiggles underneath him happily (and nakedly).

“Ew, don’t do that,” Stiles laughs and Derek makes a scratchy sound and reaches down to hike Stiles’ legs up around his bare waist. “Whoa, big guy.”

Derek kisses him brutally then, and it should be passionate and sexy when he uses his superiour strength to hold Stiles’ arms up over his head and suck hickeys onto his neck but mostly it just _hurts_ and this is really not what Stiles signed up for. 

“We aren’t fighting,” Stiles snaps finally and Derek freezes, his face completely blank. “This is not a wrestling match. Roll over.”

Derek lets go of his wrists duly and allows Stiles to maneuver them so they’re both on their sides, looking each other in the face. Stiles stretches out a leg and worms it in between Derek’s and cuddles in way close so that Derek has to hug him, one arm under his neck and the other wrapped around his waist. Derek remains quiet through all this, but as Stiles rubs one hand up and down his spine he relaxes until his eyes are hooded, and his lips slightly pouched against his razor sharp canines. 

“You...prefer this,” Derek eventually says stiltedly. 

Stiles smiles and kisses him softly before replying, “Yes, I prefer this to you gnawing on my neck.” 

Derek closes his eyes and eases towards Stiles until their foreheads touch, and his arms are a fiery vermillion when he opens them again. “I’ve only had one lover prior to you. She was a fierce warrior.”

“Well, I’m not a warrior at all,” Stiles tells him and reaches to cradle his jaw. “I’m a weak, pale, sarcastic scientist and I don’t want you to go all Bruce Banner on me when we’re trying to get our groove on.”

Derek watches him silently and Stiles is reminded of the culture rift that gaps between them. So, he just kisses him. Shows him how he wants it, soft and sweet and Derek actually makes a noise when Stiles gets his tongue involved. 

Stiles is honestly shocked when Derek pulls away and settles on the bed on his hands and knees, he glaring at Stiles meaningfully when he stares at him. Stiles gets with the program quickly enough, reaching around Derek to grab a small plastic pot of lube from his bedside table. He kneels behind Derek and kisses his way down the knobs of his spine, Derek lets his head sink down when Stiles slips a finger inside. With each finger Derek’s relaxes until he’s hugging the pillow to his chest, his back sloping dramatically. 

“Ready?” Stiles asks softly and Derek just makes a blissed-out humming noise and shifts his knees further apart. Stiles sucks in a breath as he enters Derek, his hands shaking against Derek’s hips. 

“Oh,” Derek says softly, his muscles ripple as he turns to look back at Stiles while he withdrawals. His gaze is heavy and Stiles shakily exhales and pushes back into Derek, whose mouth falls open. 

The room is anything but quiet then, filled with Derek’s murmurs and Stiles’ groans and it almost feels amplified. Afterwards Derek sprawls on his back, chest heaving, and Stiles curls against his side. 

“That was pretty great,” Stiles announces to the room at large and Derek smoothes a hand over his own forehead.

“Every moment I spend with you only strengthens my bond to you, mate.”

“You still want to be my husband-thingy?”

“We have consummated our marriage,” Derek is close to sleep and slow-speeched, “ Our bond is now as solid as an Drurkel tree’s trunk.”

“Oh,” Stiles listens to Derek’s heartbeat. “Kick-ass.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget, you can follow me on Tumblr at [riskyblogness](http://www.riskyblogness.tumblr.com/)!

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget, you can follow me on Tumblr at [riskyblogness](http://www.riskyblognesstumblr.com/)!


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